Being in control of things is a nice idea in theory, but it really has no basis in reality.
This week’s Rynski 3-Minute Share vlog lets you spot check if you suffer from the illusion of control, along with a way to break the cycle if you do.
Rynski 3-Minute Share: Illusion of Control
Illusion of Control: Outline and podcast
In addition to the above vlog, you get:
- Text overview of the script
- Podcast on the topic
I somehow made it rain.
A few years back I booked a flight from Tucson to Michigan in July, only to have Tucson’s annual monsoon pour down rain to cancel the flight.
- My first thought?
- My mom is going to be SOOOOO mad at me.
- Yes, that was my thought.
- That somehow for some reason it was my fault the rain came to cancel the flight.
Welcome to the illusion of control.
This phenomenon involves thinking we have control over the outcome of things – when we really have no influence at all.
- Like the weather.
- Mom’s reaction to a canceled flight.
- Or our dog’s decision to poo in the neighbor’s driveway RIGHT when the neighbor’s returning home from work.
Welcome to tons of stress.
When we live our lives believing we have a measure of control over anything, all we’re doing is creating tons of needless stress.
- It’s a huge burden being in charge of everything that happens, no?
- How to fix it? Accept the fact that we have no more control over things than an ant or a peanut does.
So let it go. Give the burden to someone else.
- I used to send my worries to my mom.
- But then I decided to give her a break – and now I send them right to God.
I learned how to let go, let God, on a roller coaster in Coney Island.
I was on the Cyclone, a rickety, wooden-track thing originally built some 80+ years ago.
- I was nearing the top of the first big hill, complete with the rickety racket on the tracks and butterflies romping in my stomach.
- I looked down at my hands, and the knuckles were pitch white in a death grip. My shoulders are tensed up to my ears. My teeth were clenched in terror.
This is so dumb, I thought.
I pay $5 to ride this thing, and I’m not even enjoying it. I’m holding on for dear life and sitting here in horror.
- That’s when I decided to let go and let God.
- The track is all laid out.
- The roller coaster car is going to go where it goes anyway, whether I’m having fun or not.
- So I might as well have fun and enjoy the ride.
I apply that same lesson to my life to regularly remind myself that I’m not in charge – at all.
- Situations will unfold as they’re meant to unfold, whether we’re having fun or not.
- And if you ask me, I’d rather be having fun.
Have more fun in your own life.
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