When things are making you happy, do you let them? Or do you block out the joy because it makes you feel guilty, undeserving or just plain wrong.
I used to block out the joy, but I found a way to fix it.
It’s all right here, in my first vlog EVER: The Rynski 3-Minute Share.
Yes, I’m trying my hand at vlogging (I gave myself permission). Please enjoy!
Rynski 3-Min Share Vlog: Permission to be happy
Are you allowed to be happy? [text]
Here comes the gist of what you get in the Rynsk vlog above.
Do you give yourself permission to be happy?
Ask this question and some folks look at you weird.
Others say they don’t need permission to be happy.
If they want to be happy, they’re happy. If you’re like that – good for you!
But that wasn’t me.
I instead pretty much spent my life perfecting the art of misery.
Once back when I was about 16 and having a really good day, my mom commented that I look so happy!
So I immediately began to scowl.
Pile years of miserable drinking on top of the miserable scowl, and and you have the perfect recipe for one gloomy life. (Alcohol is a depressant, which made sure it got even worse.)
Once I quit drinking, I was still scowling
I couldn’t seem to help it.
I’d get glimpses of joy, freedom, happiness and, instead of embracing them, I freaked out and immediately shut them down.
They felt weird. They felt grickly. They were too much to handle.
Being joyful made me feel guilty, like I was taking something that wasn’t mine. I was sure joy was something I was sure I didn’t deserve.
Besides, I had spent my whole life creating a story of misery and despair, hiding behind big glasses and a scowl.
Actually being happy would blow my whole life story – and my persona – out of the water.
But I truly wanted to escape this stagnant swamp of anguish.
So I went to Mexico.
I had been on a yoga retreat in Tulum where the ongoing theme was – guess what? – being happy. Arrrrgh!
I gave it a try. Had some laughs. Made some connections. Enjoyed myself to some extent – but those savvy yoga folks knew something was still wrong.
They finally realized I wasn’t permitting myself to be happy. So they told me I was allowed. They told me to give MYSELF permission.
Not only was I ALLOWED to be happy, they said, but I was even allowed to admit it.
I wanted that permission, bad. So I made a T-shirt to reinforce it. Wore it for years, or until I spilled paint on it, whichever came first.
By then I was already in the habit of giving myself permission.
Giving yourself permission works for many things. Try it.
Give yourself permission to:
- Be happy
- Stop working before 10 p.m. (your dogs and bfriend will thank you!)
- Sleep in on Saturdays
- Ask for help
- Have a spiritual life
- LOL at really dumb comedies
- Take a nap just because you want to
It’s amazing what giving yourself permission can do. It’s a fabulous start for a joyful life. And you don’t even have to go to Mexico first to achieve it.
If just giving yourself permission stops working after a while, your next step is to go deeper and weed out the old beliefs. If you’re ready for that one, let’s talk.
Oh yeah! I dug out my original I Am Allowed to be Happy illustration and turned into a T-shirt everyone can enjoy. Want one?