Nobody likes having resentments, yet we humans are really good at creating new ones all the time.
Check out one of the biggest traps that inevitably leads to resentments, along with a surefire way to avoid it. It’s all right here in the Rynski 3-Minute Share vlog. Enjoy!
Rynski 3-Minute Share: Resentments
Creating our own resentments: Outline and podcast
In addition to the above vlog, you get:
- Text overview of the script
- Podcast on the topic
Do resentments make you sick, literally?
I once resented this one guy SO MUCH I actually get nauseous every time I saw him.
- We can resent people, like the driver in the car in front of us that just cut us off.
- We can resent places, like the diner that kicked us out when we threw a salt shaker across the room.
- And we can resent things, like work.
Work can be a BIG resentment.
Not just resentment because we have to work in the first place, but resentment at the kind of work we do.
With my work lineup of writing, art and coaching, I love all the work I do. But resentments can still creep in when I don’t think carefully about the type of work I take on.
Like the writing assignment for a zillion webpages for the medical insurance people.
Sure, I enjoy writing website content. And I would even enjoy writing theirs – if I hadn’t agreed to a ridiculously reduced rate that’s way below what I usually charge.
I resent that.
So why did I say yes?.
People pleasing makes us say yes when we really mean NO.
It’s a curse where you try to please everyone else while forgetting about pleasing yourself.
To please them I said YES. Now I dive into each webpage with a pre-made chip on my shoulder.
- Cheap work.
- Takes forever.
- Hate this crap.
- Blah blah blah.
So how do you think the writing comes out?
Anything done with resentment comes out pretty crummy indeed.
I needed to fix this one by talking honestly with the client to tell them what was going on. Then discuss a possible solution to fix it. If the solution meant higher rates they didn’t want to pay and they took the job elsewhere, that’s OK.
When it comes to money vs. serenity, I frequently go with serenity.
- If you don’t want to go back and fix existing resentments, you can make it easier by just saying NO to stuff you don’t want in your life in the first place.
- The next time you’re about to hop merrily on the next bandwagon that rolls around – STOP.
- Tell the bandwagon to slow down a minute while you think it over.
- Then listen to your heart, not your people-pleasing mind.
- Don’t give an answer unless it’s the one you REALLY want to give.
- If the bandwagon rolls on without you, that’s just fine and dandy.
- Because it’s much better than hopping on it and then resenting the ride.
Want to reduce or erase even more resentments?
I help amazingly creative women who want more out of life than sleep-work-sleep get their dazzle back so they rock their world. And getting rid of resentments ALWAYS rocks.