The following is an open letter to the online shop that banned my Social Distancing Shirts, saying they were in violation of their policies.

Dear Sir or Madam:

I do hope this letter finds you well. I also do hope I am not offending any sensitivities using the term “Madam” in my greeting. Because it appears, alas, my Social Distancing Shirts have offended someone, somewhere, which is why they’ve been banned and unceremoniously yanked from your online shop.

social distancing shirt rynski

Or at least that’s the gist I got when I followed the link you sent to a long-winded explanation as to the “violation” of such merchandise.

It was an interesting read, mainly because it was one of those explanations that are vague enough to cover everything and anything that might be remotely related to whatever the first three paragraphs are talking about.

Common Sense Banned, Bloody Zombies & BDSM Allowed

I must also admit I find it strange that, although my shirts are considered a violation of guidelines, you gave examples of items you do allow. These included:

  • Realistic bloody-mouthed zombies eating a human arm (saying it’s fiction)
  • A man with his head bashed in during a riot (saying it has historical, educational and artistic value)
  • BDSM items, including that fine ball gag and whip example in a cheery blue color (I didn’t feel like reading the long-winded pornography explanation but I’m sure it was as good a read as your other vague, long-winded policies)

But alas, it appears my artistic yet functional shirts fell outside these parameters. Perhaps it had something do to with those buzzwords I noticed kicking around, words like: sensitivity, global community, human suffering.

How strange if it’s been determined that my tank tops are not aligned with your stance on such things, as they were created as a common sense way to promote sensitivity and help deter human suffering.

  • Sensitivity: People don’t have to verbally ask others to please practice physical distancing
  • Human suffering: Aren’t social distancing guidelines in effect to help slow down the spread of the virus and, therefore, help alleviate the suffering?

However, I can see why the shirts may not align with your promotion of the global community, as they are only available at this time in the single language of English. Would you consider allowing them if I translated them into 52 different languages?



P.S. Although my Coronavirus Shirts have been banned from that shop, they are still available on my personal shop here. My boss says it’s OK (although we’d still be hesitant to sell gags, chains and whips).

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