We did it. After about 10 years of being together and having to continuously explain what “perpetually engaged” meant, my beau and I finally made it official. Yes, we did the big thing: we got married in our own special way.
While we still didn’t go the traditional wedding route, we did one better. We created our own commitment ceremony that professed our eternal love and devotion to each other. Although we kept some of the traditions, like exchanging rings and vows, I didn’t wear anything old or blue. And we left out the legal mumbo jumbo that would give us headaches us or alter our tax returns.
If you’re looking for a fresh way to profess your adoration or renew your vows, creating your own commitment ceremony is it. Since I’m in love with Reiki and we’re both attuned to give it, we opted for a Reiki commitment ceremony. But you can make it any type of ceremony you wish. All I would say is to make sure it contains the big three:
The food provides nourishment for the body, the fun provides nourishment for the mind, and the faith provides nourishment for the soul. This way you get all three planes of existence covered – while enjoying a fabulous feast in the process.
Food to nourish the body
While we chose roasted turkey with hummus and veggies for me (and loads of mashed potatoes and gravy for him), you can pick any food you like. The idea here is to share a meal. Food has long bonded people together: family meals, romantic dinners, grabbing a quick bite of your partner’s syrup-saturated Denny’s pancakes.
Openly sharing food, or even feeding your significant other, has been shown to reflect and deepen your romantic intimacy. No, you don’t have to go all out feeding each other oysters, although you’re certainly welcome to if that’s your thing.
One more note on food: I remember once reading that a good way to teach animals of different species not to eat each other is to give them all food at the same time.
While I may not try it with a hungry cat that has a hopping bird next to its shoulder, I have been giving simultaneous treats to my two dogs and the stray cat in the yard. So far everyone is still alive (although the dogs do tend to run over and eat half the cat treats).
Fun to nourish the mind
What good is any ceremony if no fun is involved?
Writing your own vows is tons of fun, so stop your search for wedding vows templates now. Just tap into your heart and write how you feel about the person. My vows for Beezel gave a rundown on why I loved him so – and ended up in the form of a poem. His vows for me were short, sweet and touched my heart even more deeply than those sentimental greeting cards he’s great at selecting.
New jewelry is always fun, too. So we made sure new rings were in the lineup. Our official wedding rings include a plain gold band for him and a silver band featuring two dragons and a moldavite stone for me. Nice!
Another fun activity we planned before the vows was a tarot card reading on “Deepening Your Relationship.” We both participated, interpreting the cards to answer questions like:
- What do you bring to the relationship?
- What does your partner bring to the relationship?
- What do you receive, your partner receive from the relationship?
- What are you creating together?
You can get a bunch of cool spreads from the Biddy Tarot site – or again, make up your own. If tarot cards don’t do it for you, try another game where you answer questions about each other. Or you can always go for a rollicking game of Yahtzee. Kidding.
Faith to nourish the soul
I guess the vows could go in the faith category as well as the fun category. The faith category is open to anything that grows the soul. We went for a family Reiki session: me, my new husband, and our two dogs. All four of us reclined on our beds as I opened the session with a blessing and then asked Alexa to play Gregorian chants.
She promptly announced our first song: “Gregorian chant for the dead.”
Perhaps set your playlist in advance.
Personalized commitment ceremony
The only other tip I would give is to truly make your commitment ceremony your own. Whether it involves roasted turkey, tarot and Reiki or Dunkin’ Donuts, poker and prayer, give it the truly personal touch. Nourish your bodies, minds and souls in way you’ll enjoy and remember forever. Happy creating and committing!
I help amazingly creative souls who want more out of life than sleep-work-sleep get their dazzle back so they rock their world.
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